Ghosting can happen in any relationship. It’s never pleasant, because it’s a way of rejection. A nasty one, without a proper closure.
Ghosting can be tempting though because it’s easy. Easy doesn’t equal right. Do you agree?
Some ideas, you can use instead of ghosting
I’m too busy now and I can’t give you my attention.
I appreciate your time, but I just don’t feel the connection between us. Thanks for your time.
Our values are too different to continue meeting/seeing/being in contact with/… you.
I don’t like to talk to you anymore. Please understand and respect my wish for space.
Thanks for your time, but I can’t communicate with you anymore.
I can’t do this, sorry.
Please keep in mind, anything is better than nothing.
Were you ever ghosted? Would you add anything else you can use instead of ghosting?
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Usually I’m a proponent of the concept “something is better than nothing” and I hate being ignored. However, sometimes hearing a couple of your suggestions might be like rubbing salt in the wound. Or opening up the cannworms but only half way. Either way it is difficult and you don’t typically get the whole story if ghosting is on their to do list.
I suppose it’s too much of a variable to say definitively one way or another…since every relationship is different it stands to reason that you’d get all kinds of circumstantial/situational outcomes. Ultimately, ghosting is just WRONG. So so wrong.
I agree. I wouldn’t have any more time anyway for anybody who used ghosting instead of communication, in a manipulative way. It’s an instant red flag.
I would see it as “dodged a bullet” 🙂
These are good tips and I agree it’s common human decency to not ghost people. Technology has made things like dating all the less humane at times, I think!
Indeed, I agree.
ghosting or trolling is a bad habit
but something or anything are not better than nothing
nothing is fine and in fact, is all mine~
I’ve ghosted in the context of depression. It’s been defensive rather than with the intent to reject, and happens because I just don’t have the resources to deal with someone anymore.
It’s not easy to communicate when you’re depressed.
I kind of agree with the person who said that some of these responses, the things to say instead of ghosting are like rubbing salt in the wound. I do like the one about “please respect my need for space”.
Ultimately though… my feeling is that ghosting is fine because nobody owes anybody else anything. If I ghost someone, they did something to hurt me and I owe them nothing. I especially owe them nothing if I hardly know them. It goes the other way too. Nobody owes me anything. I have apologized to a friend who recently hurt me, even though she’s the one who hurt me I feel that I over-reacted. If she ghosts me instead of responding then I say oh well because she doesn’t owe me anything.
I had relationships end without ever being told why. In one case my boyfriend flew off, literally without saying a word and I never saw him again. I think he was threatened by my uncle who was insanely jealous. It was horrible, not knowing. The other relationship ended with me being pushed away. I worked out what was wrong and we remained friends but it hurt like hell and it would have been easier if he could have been honest. I can accept the truth. I hate lies.
I try not to ghost people but I will stop going out of my way for people only after I’ve exhausted all of my resources. Every relationship requires energy to maintain and might suck the life out of you over time, so it’s good to be aware of these things. All friendships are a 2-way street and sometimes things become toxic over time. If I am constantly giving giving giving and the person is constantly taking taking taking (and taking my kindness, advice, resources etc. for granted), then I will stop reaching out to them. I still care for them and wish them the best, but I won’t expend any more energy unless something changes on their end. I’m just not going to be the catalyst that elicits change from my end, if that makes sense.
Cutting someone off isn’t always so straight forward or black and white because it’s easy to get caught in the tangled web of deceit, manipulation, disrespect, and codependency without realizing what’s happening. Is ghosting wrong? It depends on the person and their unique situation.
I totally agree. It really depend on the person and situation. Sometimes the relationship is so toxic, and you have exhausted all of your patience, sanity and resources, that you just need to run.
Why do we ghost each other?
https://lampelina.eu/why-people-ghost-each-other-and-what-can-you-do-about-it/