About that always missing part

There’s one thing that many of us have in common. It’s that constant craving thing.

No matter where you are or with whom

No matter how great things are in life, you can’t get rid of the feeling that there is always something missing. Not all the time, but many times.

This feeling can push us into addictions

I’m still searching for the way to get rid of this feeling, but I’m also prepared for the fact that we’re simply stuck together and that it will always be a part of me. Now that I understand much more about where it comes from and so on.

My psych team told me that it has a lot to do with our early childhood. But there are also many other reasons (I put some useful links under further reading about that).

I was a bit disappointed when I got all of the answers from the psych team at first. I expected a simple solution like “do this and you’ll be fine”, but instead of it, they gave me plenty of explanations and really useful insights into the way human beings function. I learned a lot about self-awareness too, and many things about coping with your damaged self.

Another lesson learned

It’s important to know when to let go and how to let the feelings just be. As they are. Without always acting on them.

This is just a part of my insight. The whole craving thing is way more complicated.


What do you think, do you have any experience about how to actually get rid of that feeling about always missing something and craving for more?

Further reading:
Why You Can’t Stop Craving
40 Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Pain

18 thoughts on “About that always missing part”

  1. To be honest I know God is the only one who can fill that void. Picture this-if your phone has a problem, you take it to the manufacturer- the creators are the fixers. Therefore, if there is a common problem with humanity, our creator can fix us.
    I hope this helps, even a little.

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    • Thanks for the award, I appreciate it πŸ™‚
      But I’m not sure if I’ll answer to all these questions. I’ll see πŸ™‚

      Reply
  2. Very very apt. Yes, I recognize all that in myself. At one stage I too sought a sage to fix 20 years (actually rather more than that) of trauma. And now? Well I am not too sure really. Still seeking something.

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  3. I think that the reason why we always crave more is to become better than we were yesterday. We don’t want to stay in the same place forever. Whether it is in a marriage, at a job, with our DVD collection, fun. You’re right, we do crave more but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. We crave more in order to strive for more. It can most certainly turn negative with potentially powerful addictions but then we just have to be careful, I guess.

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    • It’s a great way to look at it. Just as long as you’re not doing stupid things because of it, it can also help you grow in many ways, indeed.

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  4. I battle the ‘something missing’ feeling 24-7. Since I began reading articles on Psych Central, it’s come to my attention that while my parents met our basic needs and weren’t abusive, they were very non affectionate and overly critical. It’s a form of childhood emotional neglect. I think what I’ve been missing my whole life were parents who gave hugs and validation and so now I try to hug and kiss my kid and praise her daily…I do not want her to end up feeling the way I do, like there’s this big gaping vacancy inside me 24-7..
    It could be nonsense psychobabble but it’s helping me at least understand myself better and giving my child too much love is not a bad thing. πŸ˜‰

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  5. I have always felt this, and am still searching to fill that void. I’ve recently realized I have ADD, which in my case, explains many things. Only when I’m hyperfocused or hyperfixating on things does that feeling usually go away. This can be good or bad, depending on the thing I’m, for the lack of a better word, obsessing over.

    I do occasionally have perfect moments though. Moments of spirituality with religion. Moments where I’m watching my kids play outside, pushing them on the tire swing in warm weather and I think: this is nice. I am happy.

    I’m trying to find more moments like that. To take notice of them. To realize I am complete, or can be if I just reach for that piece right there.

    Reply
  6. I dealt with that feeling a lot when I was younger. I feel it dissipating through getting older and having many life experiences. I think accepting the fact that life is always happening right now and will never be “perfect” because perfect doesn’t and will never exist has helped me.

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  7. It is something we cannot get rid of but rather control, it will always bother us because it is part of our weakness and remind us that we are just DNA streaks
    Can we one day fill this deficiency and feel perfect, perhaps

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  8. I always felt that and sought to full it with alcohol and other things. I saw an amazing video and idea that the opposite of addiction is connection. Connecting with people, or culture, or your own self, your own passions and connecting with your community, using your skills to help people – this makes the constant craving go away. It worked for me! Here is the original ted talk on it…just incredible. The opposite of addiction is connection. https://youtu.be/PY9DcIMGxMs

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  9. Dear Maja… I was just talking about this very thing in an Anonymous meeting last night – that never-ending need to be a beneficial part of a whole, and the pain of being a piece with a hole (if that makes any sense). It’s frustrating to have all the “tools” needed for recovery (whether it be from trauma, addiction, mental health issues, or a combination of the three), but not always have the dexterity and control needed to use them. As Dori the fish would say, “Just keep swimming.” You got this!

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  10. Thank you so much for sharing authentically about your struggles. I wish there were simple answers to these questions, but I think that the answers are complex, and different for everyone. In my case, learning to be my own ideal partner and loving myself for who I am, flaws and all, was the way that I found to fill the void. I don’t know what it is for you, but I feel that you’re on the path to figuring it out. Take care of yourself, and keep searching.

    Reply

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