Today, I’m gonna take you back into my high school years. Into one particular evening which started as a nice sleepover party at my friend’s house, but ended up as a nightmare.
My good friend, let’s call her Ana, had a pretty violent boyfriend (let’s call him James). He often came to school and threatened everyone that didn’t treat Ana the way he wanted to. You weren’t allowed to do any mistake if you wanted to be a friend with her. His threats weren’t just verbal, he carried a gun with him most of the time and used it for threads too. The police knew everything about him, but never had enough proof to put him into jail for a longer time.
Back to the party evening
We were planning to have a nice calm evening, nothing crazy. I arrived at Ana’s place and we talked for a while. Then we got bored and decided to go out for a drink. She needed James’s approval for everything. Every step she made, she needed permission, otherwise, he got violent. He stalked her too, or even send his friends to stalk her. Just to make sure, she’s “a good girl”.
He offered us a ride that evening and made us both a bit nervous at that time. He somehow liked me and approved my friendship with Ana, so I was safe in a way. But never felt completely that way.
We sat in his car. It was a three-door car and I sat in the back seat. The car never moved from the spot. James was getting all suspicious and started to hit my friend out of nowhere. They didn’t even have a fight, he just hit her. Again and again. I was surprised and in shock. I froze completely, because I couldn’t escape the car. There were no doors around me, but I also couldn’t hit him or make him stop because I was too terrified. I still feel guilty sometimes when I think about the event.
I could have saved her, but I could also get us both killed. We will never know.
The fight was going on for a few minutes at most, but these moments felt like hours. Somehow he stopped hitting her and let us out of the car. He gave me a brutally angry look and threatened me that I’ll end up the same if I’d go talk to anyone about this. Then he drove away.
I hugged Ana and helped her go back inside the house
She was terrified that somebody will see her and her only thought was how to cover the bruises and everything. She had no intention to inform the police, but thankfully her mother did the next day. Her face was so beaten up that no makeup could cover the damage.
Her mother took good care of her and I went home the next day.
I haven’t told anyone about this until I got the call from the court. Then I made a few words with my dad, but nothing personal, nothing about how I felt. I haven’t spoken about this in such a detailed way with anyone, until recently.
Even me and Ana never spoked about the event later. This event slowly separated us somehow, I still don’t know why. It was a both sided thing. No hard feelings, but many unspoken words. We couldn’t talk about it. It was too painful for both of us I guess.
I was taught that no matter what happens to you, you have to stay strong and just live your life like nothing happened. I know now that this doesn’t mean that you’re strong, but that you’re just protecting some bad people. If you want to be strong, you need to open up. We all break at some point and nobody can’t carry everything inside. It just hurts too much. Sometimes my whole body aches because I left so many unspoken words inside for so many years. Well, not anymore.
I’m not ready to share all of my horror stories, but I sure will release some of them. I’m also keeping some of them for a book. If I come to this some day.
I’ve created a new category Memories, so you’ll be able to find more of them there. Stay tuned.
We can’t change our past, but we can influence our future. I won’t finish this post with a question, like always, but just a simple wish to all of you dear readers and random visitors. And bots. I wish you a nice day and many many new beautiful memories.
It’s not easy for me to finally letting out these thoughts. I couldn’t do it without the encouragement from some very special people, which includes you too dear readers. Thanks for all the support you’re giving me, I really appreciate it.