Can you enjoy having sex after multiple sexual abuse?
November 3, 2020
The answer is of course yes. But the process of getting there is probably not as short as the answer.
I was never good at small-talk, but always open to topics not many people wanted to talk about.
Sex is not one of these things. It’s not a taboo for me, but I find if very difficult to even think about.
I’ve experienced a multiple sexual abuse (among some other things) in the past.
Yet I’m surprised I was still able to have sex afterwards and even enjoyed it sometimes. The same goes for masturbation.
I won’t lie, my past was full of medications and other drugs, which made this much easier.
It’s not that easy anymore, yet I’m still able to experience some pleasure. Even on SSRI meds, which also impacts libido in a negative way.
I’m still deeply ashamed of any sexual feelings, even when I’m alone.
Yet I still talk about sex at least a little with a person I trust the most.
I never stopped even though I still can’t express myself in the way I’d wanted to. I can talk about sex, but I can’t talk about what I really like when it comes to me.
It’s important that you keep pushing yourself in order to overcome the unpleasant feelings. But always at your own pace. Never push yourself too much and especially not with the wrong person. This goes for both, talking about or having sex.
I’ve done many things wrong by involving in intimate relationships with some wrong guys. But I’m not sorry for that, these were valuable lessons.
For those who can’t feel sexual pleasure, I hope you’ll be soon able to feel it again. If not with others, at least with yourself and just your body. This can be even more pleasant experience if you’re open to it. For me it was always more satisfying this way.
I don’t expect to get many (if any) comments on this post, but you know you need to push yourself out of your comfort zone once in a while to progress, right?
You don’t have to open up to me, but please open up to a person you can really trust. Or write things down on a piece of paper. Whatever helps.