Just Another Day With CPTSD #2

dissociation

I hit a pause on my therapy because I’m afraid of getting too attached to another therapist. I also probably already live a better life than many people with CPTSD in some ways and I’m very grateful for that. I’d like to stay here at least for a while. I still struggle in some areas … Read more

How Long Does It Take To Master Your Emotions?

master your emotions

This is one question that I don’t have the answer to. It probably even doesn’t exist, because everybody needs their own time. Or not? What do you think? I’ve been asking myself a lot, when will I be happy with my own progress? Because honestly, many times I feel like I’m never happy with it, … Read more

Just Another Day With CPTSD #1

In case you were wondering why I was blogging less… I’ve had an idea about posting less of my personal thoughts because I never wanted to have a blog where it would be so much about me. And yet here I am. It is what it is now… I question myself a lot. Some days … Read more

Long Time No See

I needed a break from blogging, so I took one. I won’t apologize for that. I needed to let go of some really nice people in quite a short time. And I needed some time to grieve. These feelings don’t get any weaker with years, at least for me they don’t. But I did get … Read more

What Would I Do If I Wasn’t Afraid?

I’ve asked myself this many times, but the answer just wasn’t right. It woke me up in the middle of the night today, so I’ve cleared things up finally. I wrote quite a long post and deleted everything. Because It just wasn’t right. Again. So I’ll go straight to the point now that I’ve got … Read more

Let’s Talk About Self-sabotage

“Oops I did it again” could be my life motto. Sounds familiar? Recently I put myself into a very bad mood (again) with my self-sabotaging behavior. I know that I’m not really smart, but I do know enough that I could already stop such behavior from happening again. I also know that it doesn’t happen … Read more

Just Wondering

Does life ever get any easier? How many bad things can one person handle? At a time or in life by itself? I don’t feel sorry for myself, just wondering. How fragile and strong at the same time can a human being be. The most complex machine we still know so little about. There are … Read more

You Can Be Consistent And Undisciplined

Discipline vs. consistency Discipline: A controlled behavior; self-control. Consistency: Local coherence. Correspondence or compatibility. Reliability or uniformity; the quality of being consistent. If you aim for more stability and lasting change for the better, you need to be consistent with things you need to do in addition to achieve this. You don’t need a military … Read more

The Story Behind Lampelina

Maja Lampe

Lampelina is my nickname since 2006 and it has stuck with me ever since. In English, it’s pronounced Lampeleena (at least I think). You need to say it with a slight Italian accent, to get it just right. πŸ˜€ So, why Lampelina? I won’t bore you with all the stages that this nick went through. … Read more

The Story About How I Left My Own Life

I did some terrible mistakes in my life. If I can help only one person to learn from these mistakes, they were not in vain. Even if this person is me. I’m still trying to pull the best out of my mess and somedays I believe I’m succeeding, some days I still feel like a … Read more

Living With Unstable Sense Of Self

Having borderline personality disorder and CPTSD can be interesting to say, at least. They both share some symptoms, yet they are different. And neither of them is pleasant. I do have some issues, yet I still don’t look or behave like some sort of a lunatic, you might imagine from the movies. At least this … Read more