Gentle Reminder: Spoil Yourself Often

If you’re like me, having your inner critic in charge a lot, spoiling probably isn’t your top priority. But it should be.

According to the zodiac, I’m quite a typical Leo and I was probably even born a little bit spoiled.

Then trauma happened. And another trauma, and even more trauma. I became a people pleaser who easily forgets herself with no spoiling allowed.

I’ve even managed to turn my spa visits into a self-torture regiment by going there so often that I became an exhausted wreck. Once I was taken to a hospital due to dehydration, but sadly, no doctor could see what was really happening behind this. I can’t blame them, I was hiding my monsters very well. Until I met my shrink.

He somehow encouraged me to finally start dealing with my monsters. There is some interesting chemistry between us, that helps me to push myself in healthy directions. He is my grounding rock and I’m beyond grateful for having him there. We all need such people in our lives – these are the people that can help us to bring the very best in us.

Everything starts with the basics

It took me around 6 years to start treating myself nicely. No spoiling at first, this came recently.

I’ve developed some eating disorders in the past – anorexia, orthorexia, ARFID, and binge eating disorder. I was so ashamed of myself, that I never actually put my ED into therapy to a greater extent. I barely mentioned this, which probably slowed down my recovery a lot.

First I’ve stopped living my life like a soldier and I quit my early morning workouts. I still work out regularly, but workouts changed. The timing works with my body and not against it, I finally eat enough and now I even start my mornings with a gentle massage. Following a delicious breakfast. This is what I call spoiling. It might be someone else’s normal, though.

I eat normal meals on days when I rest too. This also feels like spoiling, after spending some years in a circle where I was only allowed to eat if I worked out enough.

It also took me quite some years to finally took myself for a proper clothe shopping. I was so obsessed with my weight, that I restricted myself from wearing anything even close to nice until I lose more weight. I spent some years in terrible clothes. I put the very best on me while meeting anyone, which was still way below what I’d call at least slightly visually appealing (I still have some room for the improvements).

I spoil myself daily with my favorite foods, without the need for overeating anything.
It might sound like a little, but little things are very important.

If I’d live in my previous apartment, I’d spoil myself often in a candle lightened bath too. I loved doing this, sadly I only have a shower here. Warm water will do, for now, considering I actually showered with a very cold water for years. Yes, I took self-torture to another level…

I’m still a bit tough on myself, change doesn’t happen overnight. It might take me a while before enjoying everything and more than I used to, but I’m on my way there.
Dancing my cha cha cha through life, with occasional steps back and forth.

Why you need to spoil yourself?

It helps you to stay motivated, and less stressed. When you’re less stressed, you’re a better person for yourself and everyone you care about.

Do you agree? How often do you spoil yourself and how are you doing it?

15 thoughts on “Gentle Reminder: Spoil Yourself Often

  1. ZeroSpace Reply

    I’m so glad you found a good therapist. I either didn’t know you struggled with eating disorders, or I forgot. As you know, I know exactly how much those suck.
    Baths with epsom salt are the best thing for my self care.

  2. Yetismith Reply

    All my life I have been obsessed with weight, thinking myself fat and ugly. All I do is count calories. I shall probably go to my grave counting. People will say “why is the daft old woman always saying numbers?” I’m glad you’ve got the right therapist. It’s so important. I spoil myself sometimes by buying something I really want, but usually not too expensive!

  3. Ab Reply

    Yes, self care (including spoiling yourself) is so so important to support overall and longterm wellbeing! 💕👍

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