I started those series with some bad memories. Now it’s time to focus on good ones too. To keep things in balance here.
A little bit of my background
My mom moved a lot when I was a kid and so have I. We landed in her hometown when I was 8 years old. The kids were not so nice to me there. They were bullying me in many ways. I somehow managed to make one stronger bond with a girl from my class. We were much alike and always in for some crazy stuff.
We had plenty of ceremonies at school with kids performing and doing lots of different things. You know, the usual school life.
I had such a low self esteem back then, that I absolutely hated to be exposed in any way. Nor for the good nor for the bad. I refused to be a part of any ceremony.
I was interested in many things and tried them too. I was singing, playing music instruments, I even danced for a few years. Teachers really liked my writings and pushed me to some competitions. I received many awards, but I was always so ashamed to receive them, like I have to be ashamed of my good parts rather than bad ones.
I’ve tried many other things too, I just couldn’t stick to them. I already struggled with ADHD/CPTSD symptoms.
I’m still stuck in this “Jack of all trades, but master of none” thing.
I still don’t know how this happened, but me and my friend decided to sing the Beatles’s song Yesterday in front of the whole school at one of these ceremonies. We were 12 back then.
We practiced a little and had plenty of fun, even though I was struggling with singing even in front of her sometimes.
Yet we still nailed it on the stage.
We sang the song from the very beginning to the end, in front of the whole school and most importantly, all of the bullies. We laughed a lot during the song, but others surprisingly didn’t. So it was a nice experience. And one small battle won. 🙂
I still don’t know how this ultra shy kid managed to get things done on the stage, but I’m quite proud of her. I hope I’ll manage to pull her out from the shell for good eventually.
What about you, were you also ashamed of your good qualities and live the life just halfway because of it?