Coping with suicidal thoughts

I try to focus on the bright side of everything as much as possible here. But the fact is, life has many dark ones too.

I struggle with suicidal thoughts on a daily basis sometimes. They are usually a part of depression. But not in my case.

This post will be focused on people with BPD, but the topic applies to many others as well.

What does this mean in practice? Normally when something bad happens, you deal with it and go on with your life.
What does it mean for borderlines? The end of the world. Literally. When it hurts, it hurts really bad. It’s the darkest part of being a highly sensitive person.

This is something you can’t change. It will happen again. Suicidal and other thoughts come and go. But you can change your response to them.
It’s good to be prepared for this kind of situations and have a crisis management plan made ahead.

This goes for everybody who is more prone to find himself in some crisis (depression, anxiety, addiction, PTSD can all lead you there – just to name a few).

It’s good to write down the plan or even rewrite it a couple of times, to remember it easier.

You also need to acknowledge at which stage of emergency are you in order to plan the proper response.

You don’t have to run into therapist’s office in the case of mild sadness, while you shouldn’t be alone with yourself while having some strong suicidal thoughts.

It’s great to talk to a therapist or other professional about the plan that suits you best.

You need to make your own plan, because only you know what works best for you. I can only tell you what works for me.

I’d call or meet a friend, write down some thoughts, or find some other people to talk to online (but I’d definitely avoidTinder for that matter). Sometimes just laying down in quiet or listening to some guided mindfulness also helps. Sometimes I’d go for a short walk or a hike. It depends on the situation and the time of a day. Sometimes I just think about many possible options to die here and now and I’m just wondering if I’m really ready to go. Last but not least, I call a therapist, if needed.

What about you, do you have your own SOS plan? How does it look like?

Further reading:
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Crisis services and planning for a crisis
How to Help Someone Who is Suicidal

19 Replies to “Coping with suicidal thoughts”

  1. For me, it’s been helpful to understand my pattern over time. That way, I’m able to compare present experience with those patterns in the past to decide whether intervention is needed or whether I can just sit with it.

      1. Sometimes it’s changing things I’m doing, but when it’s more serious I look at adjusting the dosages of my medications. I know that temporarily boosting the dose of some of meds tends to help when things get harder, and my doctor is totally on board with that. While I don’t typically tell him I’m feeling suicidal, if I tell him that the depression is getting worse he’s happy to adjust the dosage(s).

  2. I focus on my son. He is what keeps me going – I know he needs me (he is on the Autism spectrum but high functioning). We lost my oldest daughter to suicide 7 years ago and I know I really don’t want to be here anymore, but I stay here for him.

    1. My condolences for your daughter.
      Loving somebody is a powerful force to keep you going. I can’t imagine the love for a child, for not having any, but I can think of as the greatest one.
      Thanks for stopping by, Patti.

  3. I see you frequently liking my posts, and I recently gorged on a bunch of yours. I had no idea you were a fellow BPD sufferer. You know how it is, then. I have to tell you… I really appreciate your links to popular and inspiring Ted Talks and I have in a couple of cases shared these links to employees on my company newsletter because I am an HR person at a behavioral health treatment company. I thank you for those posts. Yes, the BPD thing, it never stops sucking. I’m in therapy and yet I still find it an ongoing challenge of herculean proportions. Best to you. I am glad i checked out your blog.

    1. You’re welcome 🙂
      No, this BPD never stops sucking, but it’s great to share some experience, to see there are people who understant. Because we might get misunderstood from time to time. Thanks for stopping by.

  4. I usually embrace the pain and live with it. It usually goes away, but it sure does leave a mark, always. In a time of crisis (any personal crisis) I prefer to have that thought with me all the time which is: Suicide is not the answer. Even if I don’t really feel like committing suicide, I still repeat it over and over again, just to remind myself, that If or when I come to that condition, I wouldn’t do anything that my closest would be sorry about. Every life is precious God given gift. And even if you don’t believe in God there’s always something to admire and enjoy in life. Even if your in a dark place at the moment. There’s always a brighter day after a stormy weather.

  5. It’s great to hear that you’re able to manage your darkest thoughts.
    Yes, there’s always a brighter day after stormy weather, you just need to stay waiting for the storm to pass. Thanks for stopping by, Steve 🙂

  6. Thank you for sharing an empowering post. With the world the way it is, they tend to forget about the ones that have to go through a tougher path than usual and have learn different things in life than the crowd. But I never looked at things i went through as a bad thing, because I know God didn’t give me a path I can not handle, in fact, he gives his greatest warriors the greatest battles. And because we encounter a lifestyle like this and leaves us a bit different than the crowd, we are judged from society. Being isolated psychological does something to a person because we crave at least one person’s interaction. So thank you for posting something to let others know they’re not alone in society and being an influencer to lift others up.

    1. We are different, indeed. I like your perspective about being a warrior and seeing the positive sides.
      I really don’t see myself as an influencer, but it’s nice to hear that you see me as one. Thank you too.

  7. I really like your beautiful blog. A pleasure to come stroll on your pages. A great discovery and a very interesting blog. I will come back to visit you. Do not hesitate to visit my universe. See you soon.

  8. Wow, I am just so glad you looked at my Elijah piece because it led me here to you. While very brief it is a good article. I am bipolar, have an anxiety disorder and PTSD. I don’t know for sure where you are, but a good reference to have if you are in the U.S. is the national suicide hotline. It is 1-800-273-8255. If you are a veteran press 1, if not then just hold on the line. And you don’t have to be suicidal to use it. Any kind of crisis they will talk to you. If you are worried about someone else they will talk to you. As to the crisis plan, I went to a set of group sessions that focused on a plan called WRAP, it helps you to put together a process like what you are talking about. I loved it. And it is something that needs to be updated often as medicines change, as your wishes change, like where you want to go in case of an emergency. Well I think my comment is now longer than your article…sorry. But thank you so much for your piece.

    1. I already have all the help I need, from friends, family, to therapists (I’ve been through 6 months of group therapies too, we did similar things like you’ve mentioned, great stuff)
      I’m from Slovenia, Europe, but your info might help many others from different countries too.
      Thank you for all the information you’ve shared.

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