christmas card
Random Thoughts

How was 2020 for you?

I don’t really like to write so much about my private life. I’ve done some surveys on the blog and on Instagram as well. The results were the same, most people voted for personal experience.

Personal experience can be many things which got me thinking about how much and what should I write. At the end I concluded that I’ll just go with the flow and see how it goes.
I might do another mistake, but it wont be the first, won’t be the last and as we’ve learned, failure is not bad all. So… 🙂

I wrote about my old machinery previously. I obviously have my own private Santa Claus, because a postman brought me a 9kg box these days with a new pc inside. My work has speed up so much, I might open another blog. Just kididng, but the change is really huge. PC might be just a tool, but you know what can you do in a kitchen with a good knife or a bad one, right?
Thanks again Matic.

I’m wondering what drives people to do good things like these for others who can’t do anything for them. At all.
But many people told me that I’m just the same. So this is obviously energy exchange, I don’t fully understand and it will have to stay this way.

I’ve also met some amazing new people since I’ve started my slovenian project.
I’m amazed about the amount of support people can give to a random stranger on the internet. And other good things many do for others. It’s really just the matter of perspective. If you focus on the good stuff, this is exactly what you’re going to see. And vice versa.

If you’re watching corona news and other bad/sad news every day, you might be in much worse mood than you have to.
The more you focus on the positive, the better your mood gets. Of course life can still suck, but it can suck a bit less.

This year has been very emotional for me. I’ve cried from sadeness many times, but also from happyness.
This is life in all of it’s beauty, right? Full of good moments, bad moments and everything in-between. It’s great to be finally able to feel all of the emotions, even though the pleasant ones last just for a brief moment. Still working on this with my therapist.

Overall 2020 wasn’t bad at all for me. I still have one more special wish though, which has nothing to do with this year or Christmas, but it’s stronger now.
I wasn’t in a stable relationship with a guy for 6 years. This connection is what I’m trully missing, I already have everything else I ever wanted from life and more.
I’m really scared when it comes to love and the thought of being attached to somebody emotionally again. This is a CPTSD struggle I’m still working on. Also, the more therapy I have, the less guys I find atractive.
This pathetic little thing is literally killing me. But I’ll survive this too, at least for a while.

How was 2020 for you – what was the best thing that happened to you? Do you have any special wishes too?


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