It’s normal to love more than just one person

Have you ever been in love with two (or even more) people at once?

If you really love somebody, you’d want them to be happy. Period.
This means that you might stick to one person only or be with more people at the same time, stepping into polyamory – it depends on your shared values with all people involved in your love circle.

This can also mean that you’ll rather stay single for a while. Because you want to be happy too and the other person might not be good for you, no matter how very much attracted you are towards each other.

Not all people who are in love with more than just one person, want to be involved in polyamory. And not all people who are in love with somebody want to be involved in intimate or even distant relationships with the person they love. There are also different kinds of love.

We fall in love for many different reasons and not all of them lead us into good relationships.

You can find more detailed articles about this in the further reading below.

I don’t have anything against polyamory, but I do believe that a relationship with one person can already be quite a challenge on its own. More people can easier lead to more conflicts.

You can’t choose who are you attracted to but you can choose what you’ll do about it.

Do you have any experience with loving more than just one person? What did you do?

Further reading:
How to Handle Being In Love With Two People
Can You Love Two People at the Same Time?
The Rules of Attraction in the Game of Love
Why It’s Normal To Love More Than One Person
Why People Become Attracted to Crushes They Can’t Be With
Why you’re attracted to certain people, and not others

7 thoughts on “It’s normal to love more than just one person”

  1. I’ve never experienced being in love with more than one person at the same time. Like you, I don’t have a problem with polyamory, but natural feelings like jealousy seem like they’d become much more of an issue.

    I do have a problem with polygamy, because in cultural groups that practice it, it’s always the men with multiple wives, which creates a major power imbalance.

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  2. I totally feel this and I agree that there is different kinds of love. There is passionate love for your spouse. There is love for a family member. There is also love for a longtime friend too. I think it’s important to know the boundaries in all these different types of love and once you do and accept it, you can live a fulfilling life giving people love in different ways. I don’t agree with loving mote then one wife and thr poly life. It’s unfair for someone in the relationship at one point or another which is why it’s important to find one true lover and then know the boundaries of the type of love you want to share with anyone else you care for in life.

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  3. What a great post, Maja, I have thought about this quite a lot. I am bisexual and it’s hard for me to imagine life on a ranch or out in the woods without a man. And I kind of want that kind of ranch life. So I can’t say that I have not thought about having both a husband and a wife. For the separate things they bring to the table. As you point out – geez in reality that would be very hard. As you say – it’s hard enough to manage communication and things with one person. I always say fantasy and reality are 2 different things. To answer the question though, no I have never fallen for 2 persons at once. If I have my eye on one person it is rather all consuming and I get tunnel vision and cannot see anybody else. Haha.

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  4. Personally, I have only ever been able to love one guy at a time, but I had a long term relationship with a married man. He was never going to leave his family, nor did I want him to. Being with a married man was safer for me, because it meant I didn’t have the risk of a relationship that might go bad. Somehow what I had was easier for me to manage emotionally. I had no jealousy for his wife and I never regarded myself as “the other woman”. I think I provided something that actually helped the marriage and I just wanted him to be happy, whatever the cost to me. That is what one does for the person one really loves, in my view. He was no unfaithful, not at all. They had lost a child and I think such a tragedy can often damage a marriage. He could talk to me about it without it becoming emotional turmoil because I didn’t know the child and could listen without being hurt. Just my personal experience.

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