About

Hi, I’m Maja, and I come from Slovenia. Lampelina is my nickname since 2006 when I first started blogging. I’m a former nurse, midwifery dropout, certified in some other areas, and I’m still learning to live with complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD). It can be very similar to borderline personality disorder and even the professionals … Read more

Speaking challenge

Let’s take a short break from the tough topics I’ve been posting about lately. I need to move out of the comfort zone, so I’m going for another challenge. As many of you already know, I’m not a native English speaker and I speak much worse than I write. I’d like to improve that. Talking … Read more

The unbearable burden of emotional pain

I prefer to rant into my private journal or release unpleasant feelings through exercise. Or talking to somebody very close to me. But I’ve done pretty much everything and nothing helped today. At this point I’d go for a razor or some drugs (that’s something I’ve been avoiding for many years, but I did have … Read more

Side effects and dealing with them

Everything comes with a price, goes especially well with the drugs. It’s a struggle between trying to be a functional independent person (not aiming to be a Superman) and side effects. I struggle with CPTSD, which can be felt similar to depression, anxiety, ADHD, BPD and OCD combined. People with CPTSD are similar, but we … Read more

Fears and insecurities

This is just another thing that’s easier to write and talk about, than actually doing it. But you need to do things in order to change anything in your life. You need to go out of your comfort zone for this too. How much, depends on you and you only. I’ve found these two questions … Read more

In love with your therapist?

If your answer is yes, then you’re definitely not alone. It happens more often than you’d think. Usually this isn’t the “real” love, but rather transference. We can easily see the therapist (or a doctor) as an ideal friend or even more, because of the way therapy works. I’m glad it happened to me too … Read more

Let’s talk about (C)PTSD

Many of us have PTSD or even CPTSD. But too many people are quiet about it, suffering in silence. I did it as well, but I’ve learned that talking doesn’t hurt. It can even help if you’re surrounded by the right people. Thank you dear readers for being one of them as well. I’ve collected … Read more