Sharing Sunday: I’m Still Ashamed

Sometimes I’m still ashamed of my whole self, every need that I have as a human, and the fact that I even exist.

I feel hurt in such times and I struggle to go through the day. Sometimes I feel the same and I don’t struggle so much to go through the day.

It depends on my thoughts. Sometimes I ground myself easier, sometimes harder, and sometimes I feel like I won’t be able to ground myself ever again.
It takes me a moment, an hour, days, or weeks and I hope it won’t take me months or years ever again.

Sometimes I’m ashamed of just one specific part (or parts) of myself.
Sometimes I’m not ashamed at all.

Sometimes I’m proud of myself.
Sometimes I’m proud, ashamed and something else at the same time.

Thankfully, all emotions pass eventually.
Even when it feels like they might last for eternity.

This is my first post in my new attempt to become a more consistent blogger. I’m hoping for a regular Sharing Sunday series, at least for a couple of months, so stay tuned.

I will share a quick exercise for feeling better about yourself in my next post.
So I’m wondering, how good do you already feel in your own skin?

21 thoughts on “Sharing Sunday: I’m Still Ashamed”

  1. Funnily enough, I was thinking about this just last night. How I have never liked any part of myself and I suddenly thought “maybe I wasn’t supposed to be human. Maybe I should be a different creature or in a different universe”. Things happen to my body that don’t make sense. But also I have always been very self-conscious; too fat, horrible hair, clumsy… etc etc. When you live with this it makes regular everyday work and especially socializing very tiring. I am 74 now and it doesn’t matter anymore but anyone who has these issues should try every way possible to be rid of it. I wish you well, always, as I believe you know.

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  2. I’m sorry for the negative feelings you experience. It must be so painful when it lasts for a long time. I’m glad that writing is a way for you to process them. Look forward to your Sharing Sunday series!

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  3. I used to feel ashamed a lot of the time, I used to think that I didn’t deserve to be born let alone live, that I was a waste of space and nobody wanted me around but as I have learned to appreciate my uniqueness and see that others do appreciate me I learned to love myself too. And sometimes I still feel ashamed but not for long because I have come to realize that it is part of human nature to feel ashamed at times. It helps me to know that I am not alone in these feelings. In these times I try to catch the negative thoughts as quickly as possible and think about the ways in which I have grown. I try to practice gratefulness for who I am. Of course sometimes it still doesn’t work and I fall in a hole.

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  4. Humans are imperfect. It’s part of growth to accept our imperfections and the imperfections in others, and to respond to ourselves and others with compassion and kindness. Be gentle with yourself and take joy in knowing that you are worthy of being part of this complex, poignant, and beautiful world.

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  5. I have days like that, and sometimes it seems there is nothing I can do but just let it pass. I’m still trying to figure out the formula, but a lot of it boils down to how well I am taking care of myself. Thank you for this post and being in this space 🙂

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  6. I want you to know that I’m right there with you on this challenge ~ I figure that I cried at least once a day, and sometimes on and off all day ~ for at least fifteen years.

    I’ll offer two tools ~ one being the thought replacement techniques of the Buddhists (having alternate thoughts ready and handy to switch to whenever our current flow becomes unproductive), and the other a teaching received in my twenties, which held that every emotion ~ positive or negative ~ is considered legitimate in the realm of spirit, except one only. That one is shame, because it has no legitimate base whatsoever. Regret, perhaps, nostalgia, yes, resolution to redemptive activities, yes indeed ~ but not shame.

    Things to consider, offered freely. See you ’round the platform!

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