Sometimes it sucks.
It sucks to be me.
It sucks that I’ve met the sweetest man ever, who loves me a lot.
It sucks that I can’t feel any passion towards him.
It sucks that I still miss my former psychiatrist with whom for obvious reasons I can’t meet again, but still want to. I miss his energy so much…
It sucks when I want something or someone I can’t have.
It sucks when I want nothing.
It sucks when the sun shines.
It sucks when it rains.
It sucks when I want to control everything.
It sucks when I want to control nothing.
It sucks to be me.
It sucks when I’m not.
It sucks when I wait too long.
It sucks when I don’t wait at all.
It sucks when I don’t know exactly which of my needs is not satisfied, and need too much time to finally find out.
It sucks when I feel like I suck at everything.
It sucks when I feel like I’m more than I really am.
It sucks when I don’t know who the f** I am.
It sucks when I have to do something.
It sucks when I have nothing to do.
It sucks that this whole thing doesn’t rhyme btw, right? (:
It sucks when my PMDD time strikes again.
It sucks when I can’t remember the most basic things and go “normally” through the day.
It sucks when I can’t ground myself.
It sucks when I can’t feel connected with anything or anyone.
It sucks when a tiny discomfort feels like the end of the world.
It sucks when I feel too much.
It sucks when I can’t feel a thing.
It sucks when I’m happy. It sucks when I’m not.
It sucks when I feel like everything sucks.
And it feels good to write about it.
I just wanted to share a tiny amount of my anger with you (which turned into a burst of laughter… 😀 It sucks how I can’t let everything to just suck).
Anyhow. Otherwise, I prefer to keep my angry thoughts private in my personal journal, draw or go for a walk when I’m angry (in nature if possible).
I’ve tried meditation, but it didn’t work for my anger. It helps elsewhere though.
It’s not healthy if you bottle up your emotions. Whatever you feel – it’s ok, even if it’s completely unexpected considering the situation you find yourself in.
It matters how you respond to your emotions and how are you dealing with them.
How are you dealing with your anger? Do you prefer to keep your angry thoughts to yourself or do you feel comfortable sharing them?