Depression is not the same as being sad for the whole day or being melancholic, apathetic for day or two. Depression lasts longer. It’s another place you don’t want to be. But it can be good for you.
I’ve been there, many times. I wish I could say that it became easier over the years. But it really didn’t.
While we are depressed, we tend to isolate ourselves more than when we’re not. This gives us some more time to go away from daily distractions and truly see ourselves. This is the good part. To some point.
Everybody can benefit from spending some time alone. To know yourself better and to see your own life, what works and what doesn’t (I’m not saying everybody should be depressed as well – far from it). We have therapists for those who can’t do this on their own. There’s nothing bad in finding some guidance.
The isolation part should never take too long. It can become really hard to pull yourself out of this state. I think we all need some company at some point, but it really matters who is around (more on that in the video below).
The bad part is when you don’t have the energy to see anything at all and really don’t care if you exist or not. The bad part is also when you aren’t sad but just empty and numb instead.
I consider sadness as a good thing. Tears are like poo. What comes in must come out. We need to express our feelings, otherwise they get stuck.
It’s great that we have healthcare, which provides help. But we need to stay critical to where help starts and when it ends. Where is the point you need a crutch called antidepressant and the point where your own work begins. This one never ends, you need to work until you die. Some more, some less.
Working on yourself is one very underestimated thing by my opinion. Because at the end of the day you might have nothing to show, nor to yourself nor to others. The results take much longer than other kinds of work.
You shouldn’t expect your depression will get better long term if you just pop up some pills and continue to live the same life as you did before you went down. Just like with anxiety, the healing begins with brutal honesty with yourself. Who you are and what do you really want, need and expect. From yourself and from others. Are your expectations reasonable and achievable? There are many questions to ask yourself. You might dislike the answers and go down even more (this is why I really recommend some guidance).
And again, no matter how bad you feel, don’t isolate yourself too much. This is the most important lesson I’ve learned.
I sometimes seek help from professionals because I feel worthless to the point I prefer to bug someone who is paid for that over people who are closest to me. Over the years I’ve finally learned I was doing something wrong. Because I’ve pushed away friends and family while I needed them most. Multiple times. Don’t be like me. These are the people who can help you the most. By just being there. All you need to do is allowing them to be around.
Depression can be taken as a lesson. To learn new things about yourself and others.