What are you passionate about? Part 2

I already posted something on this topic. But without my thoughts. I can finally add something to this.

I like to be surrounded with people who see some use in things I do. Who doesn’t? And I like to do many different things.
I needed 6 years to find this combo again.

I’m a full time volunteer at the moment, yet I’m working mostly all days. You can see a part of this work here too. You can see only the writings, but you can’t see many other things I do for this blog. Even when I don’t write for a week, I do some work here or elsewhere, so I can write about something other than just old trauma and me giving up on life.

How it all began?

I’ve had a great job with some amazing people around me. I enjoyed the work so much, I’ve been working even during my post-hernia recovery. I’ve been working from hospital and later from a spa, where I had some further rehabilitation. I worked when I wasn’t even able to sit, so I needed to work in a standing position. It really didn’t bothered me – not working would be far worse. If you can’t call this a passion… I’ve been avoiding some personal issues and running into work, I admit that too. But the work was really great overall (featured image is from our team building).

We all need the right amount of right ingredients to met our needs. Or we aren’t happy with what we do. It’s how we are all designed. This is what my job was for me, it was just right.

In order to get rid of my antidepressants and try a drug free life, I quit this job. I’m not sorry for quiting, because I’ve been pretty useless human being for quite a while. The bad part was that I’ve lost the connection with the team too. Why exactly I did this… Because I thought they won’t want to stay in touch with me, because I was out of use for a while. Well… people don’t work in this way. Most people like to help when asked. But yes, you need to ask.

This was the part I’ve been avoiding for many years and I’ve been extremelly miserable for very long time. Just because of this “tiny” thing. Asking for help.

Please don’t do the same mistake I did and ask for help when needed. Ask as many people as you need to. It’s not nearly as embarassing as it feels and you can spare yourself years of unnecessary suffering.

Today, I’m doing prety much the same things I was able to do in my best job I ever had. There’s just another tiny thing. I don’t make any money. Yet.

I came from the point when I wasn’t able to feed myself properly, read, write and do most of the normal things, many of us take for granted (yes, this is what a multiple drug withdrawal can do to you).

I’d say I did one hell of a job to come this far. Even though, I still don’t make any money, my work isn’t worthless. And what is most important, I really enjoy it and some people even benefit from my love to work. The last part is the greatest and most important to me. This is why I went into nursing school when I was in my teens and started my career as a nurse (I’m not working as one anymore though – I’m a “WordPress girl” and overall geek for over 15 years now).

I’m grateful for being surrounded with so many great people again – one of them being you too, dear readers. Your comments are very important part of of this blogging and my personal journey, because you all helped me and this blog to grow.

Thanks for being a part of my team. <3

What about you? What are you passionate about?

24 thoughts on “What are you passionate about? Part 2”

  1. Happy New Year, Maja! It’s wonderful that you have decided to start nursing. You obviously thrive on helping people and this sounds like something that you will find very rewarding, mentally, which I believe is so much the more important part of work. It’s a hard life, but I know that isn’t anything that scares you. Going through drug withdrawal is really hard. I only did oxycodone this year (I was on it 15 years for chronic pain) and that was bad, so multiplied by whatever you had to deal with…you are a brave lady. I shall be part of your team for as long as you want me. Hugs.

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    • 15 years is really long. Congratulations for your strength to overcome this. Opiates can be really nasty when it comes to withdrawal. Thanks Carolyn. πŸ€—

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  2. I was passionate about several things at different times thru life. Right now is getting closer to God. Understanding what He wants. Takes time and patience. I’m not so good at patience πŸ™‚

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  3. Great post, Maja. A little scary what you say about getting off meds because I am wanting to get off anti-depressants myself and I hear it’s a tough road. I’m on day 4 without em. No withdrawal yet! I like what you say about asking for help. Many people are really terrible at that (pride and shame, I think). I’m terrible at it myself!! I still haven’t pinned down a therapist and that was a goal last month πŸ™ƒ. You and I even chatted about it, haha. Anyway I enjoy your posts on these topics and I love that you are always trying to help people, even as you struggle. I like how you don’t put on a front. Many people who blog about mental health act like they are professional journalists and they instruct people and never show their own vulnerable side. I see these types of bloggers who write like journalists and I’m like, “uh, newsflash. If you were a real journalist you would not be on wordpress you’d be on Time Magazine. Show some freakin’ vulnerability.”
    And you do show that- you’re not afraid to be human and that’s courageous. I also enjoy your links, you got me hooked on mental health Ted talks and I frequently look them up on my lunch hour.
    I’d like to quit my job because I use it to escape working on myself as well, and it feeds my anxiety big time. But I just don’t have the balls. I make more money now than I ever have. So I am trying to set healthy goals while working but man it’s a real challenge sometimes. Anyway, I am rambling but really just wanted to say thank you.

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    • Thanks. 😊
      I really don’t like to tell people what they “have to” to do. But. I know you enough that you got me a little worried because of your drinking sessions. I’m not your therapist, I know, but I’ll ask you anyway. Do you think now is really the best time for quiting antidepressans or would it be better when you’d be really stable for a longer while, like it’s recommended?
      I’m glad you don’t have any withdrawal though. Some antidepressants can have very unpleasant withdrawals, but they are still mild comparing to the benzos, opiates and anticonvulsants (these gave me the worst nightmares).

      This is a huge surprise – thinking about quiting the job.
      I really needed to be without a job to be able to start working on myself. It took me much longer than I thought it would to come to my so called point zero.
      But this is my story. You might succeed while staying in this particular job and working from this point. Some good distraction is actually good and much needed. I spend way too much time on my own – this destroyed me the most.

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      • I hear you. Being alone will destroy me too if I don’t fix it. I will learn from you. Anti-depressants do not carry hardly any benefit for me. I have thought about this soooooo much. I have experimented, paid attention, acted like a scientist. I have skipped doses, taken high doses, written down data. It’s a huge Ruse, my dear. We were all fooled. They are nothing more than a light psychedelic, a micro dose of MDMA. They do not help PMDD nor borderline personality issues. They do not keep a drunk from drinking. I’ll shut up and blog about this instead from here on out.
        I hear you though. I am not stable even with the pills. Nothing will make me stable but meditation. 8 flirted with it the past month and now I am doubling down. Plus a therapist. I’m personally irritated at my new years eve behavior and I have taken a vow. It’s like getting married. I have taken a vow and I journaled about this vow a lot yesterday. People just have to be unified in their decision, body and mind. I am finally there.
        Wow I took up so much space here but I wanted to explain. Thank you again for posting and for being you.

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        • Ok, ok, I believe you. πŸ™‚ Meditation is a great tool and the same goes for blogging regularly.
          You can take as much space as you need. Anytime. Thank you too.

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  4. Excellent post, as always, Maja. Inspiring. I am passionate about this moment, each one as they come. Being the best I can be, serving as much as possible. A note on asking for help. Many people have that, as do I. And, you are so correct, asking for help is very much needed. It can actually be transformational, as when we are open, and regularly ask for help, we actually help create collaborative contexts, which are breeding grounds for innovation and creativity. Which, I do believe, is our highest calling. Happy New Year! β€οΈπŸ™πŸ˜Š

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    • Jeff, I’ll be honest with you. πŸ˜€ You annoy me a little with all these neverending kind words. But that’s my problem, you haven’t done anything wrong. πŸ™πŸ˜Š
      I really appreciate all of your support. Thanks for your insights on seeking help and Happy New Year to you too. ❀️

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  5. Hi Maja. You’ve kept going, kept living through the obstacles and challenges and that says a lot about your character and true grit/perseverance. Success is not measured by the degree of popularity or the degree of wealth or relationships but I believe true success is determined by the willingness to continue on through challenges. Life is beautiful and yet, at times, it can be very demanding or discouraging. You are doing great. Keep going.

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  6. I enjoyed reading about your passion and your life, your struggle and your climb to health, thank you. In my short time of reading your blog I have come to see you as a survivor. It is an encouragement to see.

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  7. For me it also was natural and normal to help others when they asked.
    As a kid I would often help friends and their parents with doing things, like cutting grass, stacking wood, collecting fruits. And also was happy to help whenever or wherever I could. I just like it when I can make others happy with what I do and help them. Similar to you, I guess.
    But it turned out very negative more and more because people didn’t see how much effort, time and heart I often put into things. And so more and more I even hated it, not because I actually did, but because it hurt so much, that I kinda had to hate it. Otherwise I would have not survived.
    And my year at home is mainly seen as me being lazy or ignorant or whatever and that I should do more. It didn’t really help with my recovery and hurts. Especially because I feel guilty for not being able to do more, although I know that I can’t really at the moment. But would I be somewhere else, with other people who take me as I am, then this would of course also change. Probably very fast.
    I might soon get myself to search or apply for a job related to support and recovery of young people. Or maybe even make something possible myself. Because I also got to know some teenagers through out the year and know from my own childhood and youth, how lost and alone it can be and feel, as well as terrifying. And they also were or still are struggling with depressive and suicidal thoughts and other things. I don’t want them to go through what I went through, at least not on their own. Thank you for doing your thing(s) and being who you are. And also thank you to myself, I guess, because I didn’t give up, although everything went against me (in a way). <3

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    • Not everybody will appreciate you and that’s good news. If everybody likes you, you might have a problem. It really matters who’s around. This is easier said than done though. Sometimes it takes a really long time to find people you can relate to and vice versa, but it’s priceless when you do.
      I’m glad that you gave a little thank you note to yourself at the end. It’s really nice. Thank you too. ❀

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  8. Happy New Year Maja. I always look forward to reading your posts. I am glad you have found your passion, and I really do believe when we follow this passion what we need is provided. You are clearly gifted, at writing which speaks to the heart, connecting, and inspiring others. I love that you have allowed yourself to ask to get your needs met. I wish everyone would. 🀍

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