Suicide is not a pleasant topic to talk about. But we need to talk about this too.
Too many people struggle in silence, while we have many people on the other side, who judge the first ones because they don’t know enough about it.
I know I won’t change the world, but I might help one person through this post and blog. Or two. And that’s good enough for me.
My own myths busted
– If you really wanted to die, you wouldn’t be here anymore
Many people can’t imagine how hard is actually to kill yourself. I’m a survivor of one suicide attempt, which somehow prevented me from killing myself in the future.
– Talking about suicide is just your way of seeking some attention
Attention, and help are two completely different things. (I’ve got myself covered, no need to worry 🙂 )
It’s really hard for me to talk about suicide. I don’t want anybody to feel uncomfortable about me sharing my darkest thoughts, while I simultaneously do need some help while dealing with them. It’s a constant battle between “Shuld I speak or should I stay quiet?”
For a person who lives with these thoughts since childhood, I’d say I waited quite a long time to start talking about it at the age of 36. I still tend to isolate myself when I reach my lowest points, but I’m working on it.
Please listen to people. Somebody else might be just looking for attention, but you can’t really know. If you can save a life by giving some of your time to this person, wouldn’t it be worth it?
– Because you’re impulsive, there is much greater risk to commit suicide
In my case, not really. My impulsivity is shown in many different ways. I’m also an overthinker and I can’t just die. Obviously, I struggle right in the opposite way.
– You must be completely insane for even thinking about this
My mind is very clear and calm when I’m seriously thinking to leave this world. When I’m not stable, I can’t even decide about should I live or should I die.
What about you, do you have any similar myths of your own? Feel free to share them in the comments below.
Further reading:
– 7 common suicide myths—debunked
– 7 Common Myths About Teen Suicide
– Common Myths About Suicide Debunked
Sigh!
https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/mind/australian-men-are-in-crisis-with-suicide-rates-rising-meet-some-of-the-men-wholl-die-this-week/news-story/4488a31ab0392ce1f7ee1a8717e73d38
One big “Fuck You!” sometimes is more necessary, than silence!
Try to hear this song as a good boaster for a big Fuck You, because I am amazing 😉
Thanks Alexandra 🙂
xD
Suicide is a hard topic for me, as well. My ex-girlfriend attempted it 4 times, after we broke up. My whole blog of over 1,000 poems is dedicated to our romance…
One myth I’d like to “bust” is when people say, “It takes a lot of guts to kill yourself.” I do not think this is true, because when a person wants to die, they never feel strong. If courage is what it take to want to die, then what it does it take to live? Cowardice?
Hopelessness. It relates to fear, relates to being the coward, though one can only really say this of a person who is just contemplating suicide.
My father perished from cancer, due to 9/11. He died, because he rushed to the falling towers to save other’s lives. He was repeatedly commended for his acts of bravery in saving lives. So, if a person who commits suicide is seen to be brave, do they get a ceremony because no one saved their life? It’s something to think on…
I’m sorry for your tough experience. I’m trying to understand your side, but I can’t really relate. I’m getting the point about being courageous or a coward though. From my point of view, it was really easy to go for it the first time, but extremelly hard after I survived that.
I’ve lost a boyfriend for whom we still don’t know if it was an accident or suicide. I also have a family members trying to commit suicide, so I can’t imagine how it was for you with your ex-girlfriend, but these things are never easy. For everybody involved.
Never easy, of course.
I have had my thoughts on suicide, though it never lasted when the second thought was upon my loved ones. I said to myself, “How could I just end it all, when my remaining family would be condemned to so much pain?”
Sorry if I brought you down in my comment. I’m just very open. 🙂
You didn’t. I’m also here because I think of others a lot (even too much). But mine are here every single day. It’s exhaustin, even though I could be usex to it by now, right 🙂
It’s great that you’re open, never change. It’s a rare quality these days 💛
It’s really hard to understand 4 me. But I sure do know everyone matter. I mean if you committed that, we wouldn’t be able to enjoy the writings of yours. And so every person might just find that something that can hold him in this world.
I was first introduced to suicide, when a friend of mine, and my sisters boyfriend, jumped in front of a train. No note, no language. It just happened.
A myth – suicide happens the same way – there is a process. Myth. What the aforementioned taught me at the early age of 18, was that there is not one way that suicide happens.
I appreciate you continuing to post about hard topics. Important.
Be well.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Some people are more, some less predictable and this is the case when it comes to suicide.
Thanks for your kind wishes, I wish you the same.
Therapists always ask you if you think about suicide and my answer was always that I think about it all the time,m literally every day, but that I knew I would never do it. The reason I wanted to do it was the exact reason I couldn’t. I wanted my family to wake up and realize that everything was NOT good with Carolyn. But the reason I wouldn’t do it was because they would just say “well she went to America and got strange ideas.” In other words they wouldn’t get that I did it because of how the ignored and rejected me. They wouldn’t ever have believed it was their fault. But now they are almost all gone so I don’t think about it any more. When I wanted to die it was because life was just so damn painful, I didn’t think I could stand it anymore, but in the past two years something changed. I don’t know what exactly and I do worry about that feeling coming back, life sure doesn’t get any easier.
Yes, talking about it is an attention getter and I know I did it but nobody ever asked why I talked that way, so it didn’t work. At the time I talked about it I was being tormented by a male relative and that was what I needed help for then. I never got it, of course.
When I talked about it later on I don’t think I was seeking attention but if you really want to do it, surely you just do it. I have known a number of people who killed themselves. It’s a horrible shock. So if you love anyone, don’t do it.
I have always been open to talking but no one ever listened.
That is really the important thing…listening.
Best wishes and good thoughts. Your blog is important.
Thank you Carolyn.
Hey Maja! Such an important post. Around me I often hear ‘suicide is the most selfish act one can commit’…and I think that is such a false and misguided idea. No-one can understand what it is like to be at a place where you want to give up your life.
Thanks for this!
I can understand, yet I’m the one not being understood too. Thank you too Agatha.
Great post! Suicide is so difficult to talk about, and I commend you for opening up and speaking about it. Having gone through depression myself and contemplated suicide, I know that it is never as simple as it sounds. Sometimes, the pain gets overwhelming and you are willing to go to any length to overcome it. I write about similar themes on my blog, and I know it can be very draining and taxing, but it’s cathartic and fulfilling as well. Stay strong and keep your head up 🙂
Well, I disagree. Seneca already emphasized that the words „I want to die“ were stupid, because if so, why don‘t you kill yourself? Epicur even went so far as to claim that Death doesn’t or shouldn’t affect the living, because whilst alive, Death is not real.
Anyways — all deathwishes are real. Not a cry for attention, that’s a notion by vitality exhibitionists. But what we humans struggle with is execution, because believe it or not regardless of our mind, we are our bodies, mostly. Our mental wish to die, does not affect the cells of our bodies, the bacteria and other symbionts that just don’t want us to die. Furthermore, regarding the execution there are things to consider, too. My general practitioner once asked me why I wouldn’t just hop in front of a train. Well, what a psychopath — I told him about the conductor, to which he replied that this wouldn’t be my business, because, well, I‘d be dead.
Dying is not an easy thing, and one is being prevented from killing oneself, death is a taboo and only life, be it shitty or not, is the thing.
What I want so say is that it‘s everybody’s own business whether he wants to live or to die. We shouldn’t be judgy about that. Sometimes it doesn’t take only one failed suicide attempt, but multiple. Who knows?
I really think it’s important to talk about it, and what You (Maja) are doing is very important. It‘s important to bring mental periphery to the attention of the sane center of society.
Thank you, A.N.E.
Whatever we do, we will die in the end. The question is how we spend our time until that point in time.
Indeed.
You have addressed a very sensitive topic and articulated it very well.
Thanks for sharing! 😀
Thanks for stopping by. 🙂