Anger can be great. It can give you the power when you feel powerless to move forward from this position if you just use it wisely.
It can also be devastating if you use it in destructive ways.
While some people need some anger management, others need to actually learn how to be angry.
With years I find it harder and harder to get angry with anybody else rather than myself, if so. Even when people turn their back on me or behave really inappropriately, I can rarely feel the anger towards them.
Is this a normal reaction after surviving severe trauma? Or is this a part of self growth? Does it make a person weaker or stronger?
I don’t know all of the answers, but I do know that some anger is good and much needed.
Sometimes I’m wondering, how can I still want just the best for people who did nothing good or many bad things for me? This might be the part of my not fully resolved trauma bonding thing…
While researching the topic, I came by some interesting videos and articles you might find useful too.
Feel free to share your own thoughts about the anger and your relationship with it.
Further reading:
I am a very patient person but I can’t abide rudeness or being talked down to. Add stupidity and it’s going to get me wound up. After a week of being messed about recently, I blew my stack. Not that it accomplished anything. I’m sure the office staff had a good laugh about it and I got it off my chest. I had a lot of anger issues years ago but I realized that it was eating me up inside and I was able to get rid of it differently. Holding anger is very harmful. Usually I throw things and I manage not to thrown anything fragile!
Indeed, holding anger can be very harmful. But throwing things sounds quite aggressive too. What are you using as your flying objects, some soft pillows or anything that comes to your hands as long as it’s not fragile? I’m trying to imagine and maybe encourage you to use the softest objects possible 🙂
Do you have any exercise routine or other activities, to release some anger before it becomes too much?
I have an exercise bike which I ride when I am not gardening. No, I don’t throw hard objects and most of the anger is gone. I have certain little triggers, probably everyone does. But I am pretty calm now…except for that one blow up!
That’s all nice to hear. Keep up the good work. 🙂
Hey you have a typo in title :P.
What would I do without you 🤦♀️ 😀
Thanks, Robin.
Make less money on your future book deals 😁😉. You’re welcome! 🤑🤑🤑
I notice that in my dreams, I get much angrier than I do in real life. I think I have a “live and let live” attitude and don’t take too much to heart in the real world, but there have been times in dreamland where I have completely gone off on people and woke up feeling a little bit shaken by my outburst.
Hey I’ve had that. Once when a child I actually punched the side of my top bunk bed whilst dreaming. In my dream I was extremely angry at my brother and trying to punch him. I was so angry that I actually managed to overcome the sleep paralysis, and must’ve hit the wooden rail really hard because my hand was in agony and sore for days.
Also when I’m re-living traumatic family scenarios, I end up screaming so loud and angrily at them in the dream, and wake up screaming 😆. And yeah then I feel shaken when I wake up. Shaken AND stirred 😅.
Ouch!
That’s so interesting! I do the same thing! Well I do get a little mad in real life… but not the way I do in my dreams. Especially at my family! Hmm we better call Freud or Jung right away 🤔
It’s so funny you say that. It’s either my family members or people who did me wrong like 10-20 years ago.
omg! This is so mee
amazing work
Thank you Nancy.
For years I used anger outwardly, when I was only ever angry with myself. Not helpful. It was like the realization was always there, yet I was unaware, so not present to it. Now, I can be in touch with my anger, when it arises, and know that it is something I am struggling with internally, and that’s all. Period.
Awesome post! Although hard, I try not to let myself get overly angry as it totally screws up my thinking capabilities. But I’m a work in progress. It can be difficult to think clearly as the Logical side of the brain seems to get blocked. Thank you for this post!
I think it will be healthy for me to follow you Maja. Thanks for reading my “rant” in my last post.
Very well said!!