Do you know the feeling when you miss someone so much that it hurts? And at the same time, you feel joy, when you think about this person’s happiness…
It’s a weird combination,
this pleasure, and pain.
So many stories created my brain.
I still want you inside,
inside of my head
stories so happy, stories so sad…
I’m wondering though
how can I know
when is the right time for letting you go?
My first poetry in English. How does it sound to you who are native English speakers? Are there any rules to follow?
I’m a newbie in this field and I’ve decided to write something without knowing anything about it for a change.
What was the last thing you did for the first time?
Your poem hits home. I have been in that exquisite agony. Over time it stops hyrting, leaving only the joy, maybe sometimes a little sadness. I am no poet but sometimes I write what I may call a poem, no rules, I just write the thoughts as they appear which seems the best way to express what I really feel. This was a very good start for you.
Thanks Carolyn. I’m glad that it became easier for you with time. It’s usually the same with me.
Lovely poem. Although I’m not the person to ask. That’s a great question too. Making me realise I’ve spent too much time in my routine recently. Need to break things up.
Lovely poem, Maja. I’m not sure there is any rule to poetry other than speaking from the heart. 💕
Thanks Ab. 💕
👏
Amazing
Solid. English and all!
Beautiful💖❤
This would be a good first poem even if it were not also written in a new language! Good job.
Thank you Ana 💕
😊
Very relatable! Great job and keep up the good work!
Thanks B.E.E. 💕
Impressive. I would not have guessed that English wasn’t your first language. The only line that reads “odd” is the third. I would expect “So many stories created by my brain” or “in my brain”.
My only major suggestion would be to find a different rhyme in the middle stanza. You’re using an A-B-B rhyme scheme in the other two stanzas but “head” and “sad” don’t rhyme generally. (There may be some dialects where they do but not in the “standard” American or British pronunciation.)
As a fellow poet, I would also suggest breaking the third line in each stanza into two so you’ll have four 3-line stanzas. One of the things I try to do is have all my lines more-or-less the same length. But that’s just my aesthetic.
BTW, I especially love that last stanza. Great work!
Thanks a lot for your suggestions and opinion Bartholomew. 🙏 I’m glad that you liked it despite everything.
The heart of the poem is pure. The rest is just minor details.